Living in the country: 10 things I’ve learned

If you would have told me as a kid that in my 30’s I’d be married to a farmer (for 16+ years!), homeschooling my kids, living in the country, raising animals, Christmas trees and tending a large garden, I would have told you you were crazy. But here I am! The Lord works in mysterious ways.

As we draw close to the four year mark of living at Bramblewood, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. Looking back over the last few years, I’ve learned so many things. About life, about homesteading, remodeling and living in the country. And since I’m such a very unlikely candidate for farm wife life, homesteading, animal husbandry, I thought it would be fun if I shared some things I’ve learned over the last 10 years of living in the country.

1. Country clean is not city clean

First things first, country clean is NOT the same as city clean. What do I mean by this? Well, there’s just a lot of MUD. Dirt. Dust. Flies. Fruit flies. Spiders. And occasionally…mice. Yep. Mice.

“I could NEVER,” you might be saying. But if you live in the country, you will encounter mice. Oh trust me, you will. The first few times, you’ll be ready to burn the house down and start over. Eventually however, you will simply scoop the little creatures up with a spatula, stuck fast to their glue traps, and deposit them in the garbage can where they belong.

You will learn that deep cleaning the floors must be done in the evening after everyone goes to bed. Then, at least they will stay clean for that one night. Give yourself the gift of going to bed with clean floors once a week or so, but don’t kill yourself trying to keep them clean. Country clean is not city clean.

2. There’s no quiet like country quiet.

Though we’ve lived in three different country homes over the last ten years, with varying degrees of remoteness, I can confidently say there is no quiet like country quiet. Even when we lived on the corner of two busy rural roads, there was still certain times of the week where you could walk around outside and feel like you might be the only human for miles.

In the summer, my favorite thing to do is crawl out of bed, slip into my garden clogs and head out to walk through the garden first thing in the morning. It’s so quiet that the birdsong seems deafening. You can almost hear the flowers opening, the dew glistening. Because of the quiet, you can appreciate the details that might otherwise be missed.

3. Life is lived by the seasons.

I’ve heard people lament that our modern world has lost touch with the seasons. Because we can have whatever we want, whenever we want, we’ve forgotten the ebbs and flows of the natural world. Electric lights disrupt our natural sleep cycles, our phones can ping us at all hours, and the Internet never sleeps. But out in the country, it’s a lot easier to live by the seasons.

When you are surrounded by the land, it is pretty hard to ignore the signs of the seasons all around you.

That first flush of Spring green, so bright and clear, it’s hard to believe Winter ever even happened. Dusty gold of the fields at the end of Summer. Fall leaves that suddenly burst into vibrant colors, and thanks to the Autumn winds, just as quickly blow to the ground. The whistle of the icy south wind under our front door and the relentless, pattering rain, signaling the arrival of Winter.

Part of my joy in taking photos for and writing this blog is celebrating and appreciating those seasons. What a magical gift from our heavenly Father!

4. You’ve gotta stock up in the country.

In a former life, I used to enjoy going to the grocery store every week. Getting just enough for the week ahead. I never minded making a trip here or there, to grab this or that. We lived in town and it was no big deal.

Now however, “town” is no less than 15 minutes in any direction. To make a trip in for a single item just simply doesn’t happen anymore. And frankly, I start to feel a bit itchy if I don’t have my fridge and pantry stocked with a week’s- or more- worth of basics. Just two weeks after we moved to Bramblewood, we had an historic ice storm that closed down roads, stores and stole our electricity for 17 days. I vowed to never be caught unprepared, again.

Buying most necessities in bulk, ordering online from Azure Standard or Thrive Market, and every year hoping to grow more of our food from the garden, are my methods for staying stocked. Someday we’ll build that walk-in cooler I’ve got my sights set on. Then we’ll really be in business.

5. Life is slower in the country.

I’ve always been an introvert. Recharging by being quiet and spending time alone. Now I’m not shy, deep friendships are very important to me, and there’s nothing I love more than being with my people. But as I have grown older, I’ve realized how vital it is to go at my own pace. I was not made to live at the frenetic pace the modern world insists upon. It has been such a blessing to live more slowly by being in the country.

Choosing to homeschool our children, another massive luxury, has also enabled us to live more slowly. We only rush out of the house one morning a week (for our co-op day) and on a rare special occasion. Our life is at home. We follow a slow, simple rhythm most days, and it suits me just fine.

6. You’re gonna have to drive.

I do think there is a misconception that if you choose to live in the country or on a homestead, you can’t participate in as many things, like sports for example. There isn’t any reason you have to miss out on anything you want to be a part of, you just have to accept the fact that you’re gonna have to drive.

We’ve got two little passionate soccer lovers in our house, and this fall that meant Mama was driving to town four nights a week for practice. It wasn’t convenient or efficient to make the drive every day, but we decided it was worth it. And you know what? It really was!

You may not necessarily have the spur-of-the-moment get together with friends who live close by, but if you are intentional, and accept that life just means a little more driving, there’s no reason you have to miss out on anything you want to be a part of.

7. Living in the country is a lot of work.

I can’t think of a single person who’d tell you that living in the country isn’t a fair bit of work. Odds are if you’re out of town, you have some land. And land just takes work. Luckily, we like to work.

One of the reasons we chose to move back to the family farm over 10 years ago was this very reason. We wanted our kids to have the opportunity to work from a young age. To raise them in a situation where they could dig in the dirt, chop firewood, wrestle with blackberries and learn how to work the land alongside us.

Now, all these years later, some of our family’s favorite moments have been Saturday Family Work Days. We’ve hauled firewood, bulldozed fallen trees, pruned the orchard, stacked giant burn piles, created gardens, dug in a sprinkler system, and now, planted a field of Christmas Trees. Each labor a wealth of sweet family memories.

8. Nothing is ever really done.

I am the daughter of a builder. The child of a master craftsman who spent my childhood building large medical facilities, one-of-a-kind art museums and countless luxury homes. I always kept an eye on his projects, watching them go from start to finish. Once completed, each job would be handed over in perfection condition. I’s dotted and T’s crossed.

Let me be the one to tell you that there’s nothing I’s dotted and T’s crossed about life in the country. And frankly, that’s been a hard lesson for me to learn these last few years.

We were lucky enough to get into this 10-acre parcel of land before real estate prices rocketed to the moon. But still, it took everything we had just to get here. The house and property were in less than ideal condition, and though we knew it would be an uphill climb, it has been more than we ever bargained for.

I have had to let go of and die to most- if not all- of my expectations along the way. And you know what? There’s been a lot of beauty in that.

Nothing ever really being done takes the pressure off for us to get it “right,” to make sure things are “perfect.” We do the best with what we’ve got, and if it needs to fixed or redone down the road, well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

9. You’ve gotta learn to rest.

I think there is a common misconception that life in the country is more relaxing. It is quieter, sure. More peaceful, definitely. Calmer, in ways. But the reality is, you can be just as strung out and exhausted in the country as anywhere else. Maybe even more so. There is always, and I mean ALWAYS something that needs done.

And if you don’t learn to REST, you will run yourself into the ground. I say this on good authority, because I have DONE IT TO MYSELF.

The first couple years of living here, frustrated with the slower pace with which we were able to tackle our to-do list, I ran myself ragged. I wasn’t sleeping. I was cramming work into every spare moment. Not stopping or sitting down until I crawled in bed at night. My mind raced from thing to thing. I was on a one-woman mission to save this property from ruin.

I started to get sick all the time, dealt with absolutely crushing anxiety, and was unable to care for and serve my family. It has taken a lot of time, work, and money, to recover my health, and I have learned that not learning to rest is a LOT more costly than taking time off here and there.

Now, I try to sit down for 15-30 minutes a couple times a day, get adequate sleep at night, exercise and go outside with no purpose at least once a day. I take seasons- like the Summer when my husband is busy during harvest- off from house projects and to-do lists. We also try to take Sundays off from projects, and instead rest, play games as a family and enjoy extra good meals.

10. The country is not just a place to live; it’s where you learn to live.

I stole this quote off the Internet, but it really is true. Despite never intending to be a country girl, having lived in the country for over a decade, I can’t even imagine ever going back.

I do feel like we have learned to truly live, or at least to live a life closer to what was intended. Closer to nature, slower in pace, simpler in pleasures and more purposeful in work. I am incredibly aware of what a luxury it is to be able to live this way, and so abundantly thankful for our family’s ability to do so.

What do you think?

What have you learned about country life? Or are there things you wonder about? Leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts. And don’t forget to pin this image so others can find these musings on life in the country. Cheers!

Kali

I’m Kali. Oregon mama, farmer’s wife and creator of the Potager book and blog. Join me and as we cook and garden through the seasons!